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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?